They gave me names
One after the other,
The girl put in casts
One after the other.
First, they called me good,
I blinked and smiled,
I bowed to all the temples they asked me to,
Touched all the feet,
No word outside their dictionaries.
Then, they called me obedient,
Was I really?
Maybe.
I blinked and smiled,
I came home at 6,
Slept at 9 and dreamt of regular things-
Not of loving, shouting or flying.
I marched and didn’t swim.
They called me nice,
My jokes were swished away,
And eventually they died.
I blinked and smiled,
yet again.
I took down notes of the do’s and the don’ts,
I thought- oh, but was that allowed for nice girls?
They called me pretty,
But didn’t let me talk,
Lest they’d see the insides of my mouth,
“Eat Less”, they said,
Lest I’d not be as pretty,
I blinked and smiled,
Just for the last time.
They called me quiet,
And I asked why?
They called me quiet,
And I asked why?
They shouted,
“Quiet!” And I asked why?
They wanted me quiet,
And I asked why?
They now call me a rebel,
And I blinked and smiled- NOT ANYMORE
Bionote
Neerja has finished her Masters in English Literature with a specialized focus on Cultural Studies from the Fergusson College, Pune. She has formerly worked with Women’s organisations working with women in sex work in Pune. Her areas of interest are the intersection of language and gender, especially the process of naming and renaming, performativity, literary criticism, political theory and its contemporary applications. She paints and loves long walks.
